


two makes a crowd

by scarsimp



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Artemis goes to therapy, Atlantis Complex, Gen, OCD, and slowly beginning to unravel trauma, and tries to get better, did, handling mental illness, he deserves it, instead of repressing it, with therapy and family help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23152177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarsimp/pseuds/scarsimp
Summary: "So, tell me about yourself?" The therapist asks one rainy morning, after the necessary paperwork was filled out(By Butler, of course. God knows his parents wouldn't be caught dead here. With him, their crazy son.)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 147





	two makes a crowd

**Author's Note:**

> Real talk.... artemis could very well Not have Atlantis complex and actually have ocd/did bc of the trauma he experienced and shaky foundational guardians he had as a young child... just saying
> 
> Anyway orion and artemis both deserved better help and treatment than they got and I'll die on this hill

To say Artemis was particularly impressed by his psychiatrist would be laying it on thick— thicker than the entire population of Terra herself. The man was tall and thin, with thick glasses and an air that spoke of disgusting things that Artemis hated in people; things like  _ compassion  _ or  _ kindness.  _ It was revolting, and it made Artemis feel all of ten inches tall- though he would never admit that part. Not even to himself. 

Butler had forced him to come despite his many, many,  _ many  _ misgivings, and complaints, and outbursts of unnecessary anger. At the end of the list Butler had grown tired of his whinging and had physically picked him up like he used to when Artemis was young. That was something else Artemis would never admit: he  _ missed _ when Butler would carry him around, or play with him while his parents were fighting. He missed it bad enough it made his chest ache at times.

Dr. Godwyn Tennysen made him think of Holly and all the spare times his mother deigned to hug him, before the twins and Artemis senior and  _ him _ . Back when she was still his mother instead of a ghost haunting a still beating (still bleeding) heart. Artemis was liable to believe he inherited that. Sometimes it felt like his heart was bleeding all the way down his chest, staining his arms and binder and torso an attention catching red; the only way to get attention was in blood, he quickly learned. 

*****

**_> admit u like animal crossing_ **

**_> Fuck you._ **

**_> I'm in ur head i already know_ **

**_> Capitalisation? I thought I would never see that from you, consider me surprised. _ **

**_> its autocorrect actually _ **

*****

"So, tell me about yourself?" Godwyn asks one rainy morning, after the necessary paperwork was filled out ( _ By Butler, of course. God knows his parents wouldn't be caught dead here. With him, their crazy son _ .)

(( _ Their defective son. Why would they need replacements if their first was in proper order. That wasn't fair to the twins and he knew it— he just couldn't care anymore. Why did they get what he didn't? Why couldn't he just shutdown and reboot like the computer he was supposed to be. Why, why, why, why, why- _ ))

"I'm not crazy." Artemis said, before cursing at himself internally. Who would say that, unless they really  _ were _ off their rocker? He could remember his mother all too well- her screaming, like some sort of wraith, the haunted look in her eyes, the way she would chitter and chatter at him and then forget who he was. Yes, Artemis Fowl knew what happened to the people in his family, but that didn't mean he would admit it. 

Godwyn frowned at him, tilting his head as if he, as if he  _ knew _ . "I never said you were, Artemis. I merely asked a bit about you and Orion." Artemis swallowed, forcing down a frustrated noise. Why was he getting so worked up?

"I try not to. Why would I waste my time talking to something that doesn't exist." Artemis could almost feel Orion's indignation, despite the other boy being… asleep, for better words. Artemis never could fully understand what happened when they changed, no matter how hard he tried. 

He never tried as hard as he could, but that could just be his secret. 

*****

"Hi Godwyn!" A familiar voice cheered, and Godwyn almost did a double take when he looked up. Artemis greeted him, thought Artemis in a way he had never seen before. That is, dressed as what his son would call an 'E-boy.' Godwyn didn't quite know what to do with himself, until he realized. 

This wasn't Artemis, this was Orion- the boy Artemis insisted his parents had made up. 

"Ah- Hello there." He greeted, adjusting his glasses and smiling warmly as he thought things over. Orion thankfully didn't notice his small lapse in concentration, bounding cheerfully over to him and throwing himself onto the couch across from him. 

"How's it been?" Orion asked, swinging his legs and watching Godwyn with striking eyes. "Arty has said a lot about you- and by that I mean he yells at me when I ask." 

Dear God, this would be interesting. Or exhausting. All Godwyn knew was that the original paternalism he felt to Artemis wasn't unfounded, and by god he was going to help these boys, who refused help with a sneer on their face and a laugh in their voice.

After all, who would help Gods or their servants?

*****

Artemis hated Orion with a burning passion, hated him like Athena hated Medusa as she was cast out. Hated him like the devil hated his maker, like his mother had hated his father before he disappeared and sent Artemis spiralling into a cavern of the unknown. 

Artemis hated Orion more than he hated himself. 

His mam was always crying after father left. Even when she insisted she hated him and his greedy, greedy ways and greedier hands. Said she'd never forgive him for some of the things he had done, and yet, and yet, and yet.

Somewhere far away a faery wakes up and dreads going to work. Somewhere too close Artemis wakes up and dreads his therapy session. Butler has to carry him again and he stamps down the part of him that likes it with a violent glee, something that would have concerned him before, but hardly bothered him now. Wasn't he supposed to get better? He was tired of waiting to feel happy again. 

The days fluttered by like broken butterfly wings, seeping across the landscape of his mind as each hour blurred into the last. Artemis couldn't quite sleep, could never close his eyes long enough without feeling the all too intuitive fear of the dark lashing inside him. He had never been afraid of the dark before. He hadn't been afraid of a lot of things before. Somewhere too close, Orion wakes up and wishes he knew how to fix something that wasn't broken, not quite, but completely and utterly shattered all the same. 

*****

**_> why do u hate me?_ **

**_> Because you're not me. You're an invasion in my mind that I never consented to. _ **

**_> no im not, u know that. Im you. _ **

**_> answer me, arty _ **

He never answered him. He didn't know why he hated him either, just that he was everything he had wanted to be and nothing he could have all blended up. 

*****

"Your father was kidnapped when you were young, is that correct?" 

"Why do you care?"

"Because I care about you, and it hurt you." 

"No it didn't." 

"Artemis-"

"None of that hurt me. Why would I care about them? They never cared about me." 

"I think that's why it hurt. You cared too much."

And Artemis didn't have a response to that.

*****

Orion took over for the next session after that, something in Artemis curling away from the idea of discussion. They had inched too far- too close to the seeping parts of him he had locked away. So Orion handled it like Orion always did; juggling the therapy and the twins and the pained way Juliet wouldn't look him in the eye, no matter how much he talked to her about things he thought she'd like.

It took him two weeks to realize it wasn't because she didn't like those things. It took him one more to realize it was because she didn't like  _ him _ . Orion stopped talking to her after that, hoped the pain in her eyes would fade and yet it only thickened. What was he doing wrong? He was supposed to  _ fix things _ ? Why couldn't either of them ever get it right? 

Artemis came back that night. Juliet still looked sad. He wrote it down in his diary, and realized it was four letters. He wrote it down in his diary, and realized it was four letters. He wrote it down in his diary, and realized it was four letters. He wrote it down in his diary, and realized it was four letters. He wrote it down in his diary, and realized it was four letters.

They both thought over texts that their patron gods were laughing at them. 

They both thought over texts that they wished Juliet and Holly would smile more. They both missed the way the two could light a room up with their happiness; wished even harder that they hadn't been the reasons they both stopped. Artemis thought it hurt worse than Orion did. Orion thought it hurt worse than Artemis ever had. They both thought life was a bitch. 

*****

**_> Godwyn made u cry today_ **

**_> So? What does it matter to you what happens in my therapy sessions?_ **

**_> it was about our dad_ **

**_> He is not 'our' dad. He is my father. You do not have a father._ **

**_> same body same dad is what godwyn says. hes the literal doctor here too_ **

**_> rlly not gonna answer back? _ **

**_> When will you stop being a coward?_ **

*****

When would he stop being a coward?

Artemis stared at the phone before him, pale spider-fingers wrapped around it as if he would drop it if he didn't squeeze hard enough to feel his heart race. He probably would drop it, if he was completely honest with himself. Artemis saw the tendons straining in his forearm, saw the vivid blue veins crawl up his limb and into the depths of his body. Orion's body, too. Their body? 

Hating Orion just meant hating himself. That was what Godwyn had said, and Juliet, and Holly, and Butler, and his mam. That was what everyone said. Even Orion… even himself. Artemis thought he was tired of being hateful. He was tired of a lot of things that had happened, or were happening. He was always tired, if he was honest with himself. ( _ He was trying to be more honest. It was supposed to be good for him to be honest, even if it was just in his head. He wanted to be good.) _

Artemis sighed through his teeth, blinked his two colored eyes, and unlocked his phone.

*****

**_> Hello._ **

**_> ooooh arty saying something for once. what do u want_ **

**_> Nothing. Nothing you could provide, at the least. I just thought we should talk._ **

**_> that's new_ **

**_> Godwyn said we should. After all, according to you he is the 'literal doctor.'_ **

**_> only if you admit you like animal crossing_ **

**_> Orion._ **

**_> come on let me have this_ **

**_> Fine. I will admit I do… enjoy Animal Crossing to an extent._ **

**_> fucking finally. Whats up_ **

*****

Orion saw Holly shortly after that. She smiled at him more nowadays. Juliet did too. Orion liked that, Artemis liked that, they both liked that.

They thought they liked that a lot. They were starting to like more things again, like Animal Crossing or Pokemon. Things Artemis would've thrown out years ago, scoffing that they were childish and beneath him. 

Orion mentioned it to Juliet at one point, nonchalant until she stared agape at him. "Did you know Artemis' favorite pokemon is Sylveon?"

"Ignoring the fact that Artemis Fowl likes  _ pokemon _ , why the hell does he like  _ Sylveon? _ "

"Because Eevee has to be happy to evolve into it, duh."

  
  



End file.
